I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
