I must be too annoying 4 u.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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