so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
