shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
