You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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