There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
