He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
