somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
