So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
