Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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