my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
