sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
