that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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