I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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