Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
