no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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