watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Be still, my beating vagina.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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