PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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