Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
