y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
