Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
