David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
