We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
