Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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