Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
When are your genitals available?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
