How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
