Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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