Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
