You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
