What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
