I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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