is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize
