This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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