just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize