How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
