I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm at about main and main street
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
