this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
