Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
