i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
that's an acceptable place to lick
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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