So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
