I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize