Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
