You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
