Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
