i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
