My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
