quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
