I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
