did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
