you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
