Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
