You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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