watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
