just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
