I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
