After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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