its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize