he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
