Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
