i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
