Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
