If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
